While openness can build trust, there’s a fine line between “vulnerable” and “uh-oh.” Brené Brown, the goddess, says oversharing isn’t true vulnerability—it can actually result in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.
So why do we overshare at work?
Sometimes it is because we want to feel seen. Without our usual support systems—family, friends, faith, community—we sometimes turn our coworkers into unwilling therapists. Stress is another biggie – and can cause all of us to vent from time to time. We mistake emotional outbursts for “processing.” Sometimes we don’t realize we’ve gone too far. Sometimes we misread culture. Social media has created norms of sharing that are in many cases not appropriate in the workplace.
Oversharing risks include: damaged credibility; gossip fuel, confused boundaries and just uncomfortable moments, which lead to uncomfortable relationships.
There is some clear guidance here – graphic health details, romantic chaos, money problems, coworker critiques, political or religious rants, constant negativity, and good old-fashioned trauma-dumping are no-gos. Save that for your best friend.
But here’s the nuance: not all sharing is bad. Strategic vulnerability builds trust when we consider relevance, timing, and audience. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” during a tough week = helpful. Saying “my child was arrested this week and is in jail” in the middle of the Monday morning staff meeting = probably nope. Telling your supervisor – in private – or a trusted coworker, probably yes. Your child’s arrest is not relevant to the Monday meeting, but it could very well be relevant to your performance and the need for time off so talking with your boss is appropriate because it is relevant and just with your boss at a time which of course you have confirmed is convenient. Relevance. Timing. Audience.
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re fences with gates. Absolutely we should open those gates, but wisely.
Good Reads (and a video!):
How to Stop Oversharing at Work (and Move On If You Slip) | The Muse
What to Share, What to Hold Back
The risks of oversharing at work are real. Here’s how to set better boundaries – Fast Company
…vulnerability vs. oversharing — where to draw a line?